Well, I found out that after friending so many folks I had lost touch with, I discovered I had lost something I truly enjoyed about blogging - privacy.
There are times that I just want to vent, get things out or I might explode. Problem with that is that with fb, you forget who can see your page and may end up offending someone unintentionally. So, I'm back!!!!!
I looked and realized my last blog post was almost one year ago - man, so much has changed.
Tonight, I just needed a place to get out what I have bottled up. Parenting is driving me CRAZY!!! I absolutely love my kids, but dealing with their ADHD can make me nuts sometimes. Add a dash of the ODD, and every strand of patience I ever thought I might have is strained to the limits. Teenage angst is one thing, rebel without a clue (how much he's pushing it) is another!
I know I should be greatful we are not dealing with drugs and all the other horror things out there to disrupt family life, and I am - there is SO much we have not faced. But the strain of trying to deal with rude, disrespectful, defiant, know-it-all A-T-T-I-T-T-U-D-E can really frey the nerves.
Recently, in talking to others about recent or impeding childbirth, I find myself conveying that God must have been fully aware of these teen years ahead of me. I had very easy, low weight-gaining pregnacies, fast and easy deliveries, and babies that slept 6 or 8 hours at night at ten days old. Those days were easy, very easy....God knew I needed to rest up!!!!!
But seriously, tonight was hard. I see what's ahead if steps aren't taken to correct the crash course feverishly being raced forward. I try to guide, alert, provide needed tools, even enlighten, but to no avail. The hell bent fixation on "I'm smart, can handle it, and know what I'm doing" is maddening.
Give me strength to realize he's in God's hands and will come out the other side a better person - regardless of the goals not attained, plans that fall thru...whatever it is, may just have to be experienced the hard way.
But it hurts.
1 comment:
if it's any encouragement, my mom says of me during those years that she loved me because i was her daughter, but she did not like me. ha! i think i turned out ok. ;) hang in there. --april
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