How to move forward from here?

We had a meeting Monday that really got under my skin and for me to say so is big. Long and short of it, we were being discourage to register Sean for a Boy Scout event for fear of him misbehaving as he has done in the past. Now when I say in the past, I mean more than a year ago (from what I can piece together).

I have never denied the fact that Sean has obedience issues. He was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD) 3 yrs ago, along with his AD/HD (I). But he has made GREAT strides in recent months, more so outside the home, but improved none the less.

This trip is a big deal because the scouts worked to sell trees at Christmas to pay most of their way. Sean worked really hard and the adults supervising while he was there have commented many times on his positive presence on the lot. But they STILL keep bringing up the past. It is very irritating that they refuse to see the present. And this was one of 3 major events over the last 9 months that have marked improved behavior from Sean.

The scout troop adults "voted" that they would not prevent ANY scout from registering for this event, the decision for him to go was left to us. One parent was particularly attacking and kept pressing us for an answer, saying that we were already beyond the deadline....... Then she proceeded to say that she would not let her child go if we registered Sean! Of all things??? Is she trying to say that Sean is a direct threat to her son's safety? I was floored.

Rick and I had not made a decision up until this, but our hesitation was due to current financial constrains, not Sean's behavior. We went to the meeting, asking that the adults who had expressed concerns tell Sean about how they feel so that he could understand that his past behavior was damaging. We wanted him to understand from them what he had done to frustrate them. We felt it would be good for him to face the truth of his actions in our presence so that the facts were clear to us all. We were in hopes this would be a powerful tool to impress upon him how it's not just about the moment - his misbehavior has consequences. We were hoping this would help him to understand that he must consider this while he is on the trip.

The group refused to talk directly to Sean, or at least the parents voicing most of the concerns did. (Two of the male leaders did talk to Sean after the meeting, but more about what this event entails rather than how his past behaviors are a concern.) At the tail end of the adult meeting, the tables were turned to us and we were being "attacked" in how we were handling this. It was all too completely unreal.

The committee chair and his wife did talk to us alone after the group dismissed, they were very encouraging. Sean's Aunt and Uncle (who are adult leaders) talked to Rick at their home afterward and they felt that Sean would not be a problem. Tommy even talked to Sean and told him about the concerns and what he could do to help the adults see his better side and that he had changed. These are the things that helped Rick and I decide to find the funds so that we could send Sean on this "once in a lifetime" trip.

Please pray that over the next 3 months, we are able to implement some plans that will help encourage Sean to build some good habits in dealing with authority figures. Improvements in this one area will go a LONG way for Sean on this trip.