Today we celebrate the life of Rick's great-aunt, Lucile Hinson. Rick has been asked to lead singing at the funeral, something perhaps that had been expected his father would be here to do. It's been almost 3 yrs since Dick left us, but the heart is still tender to the loss. It's odd how this passage of Lucile's life has brought Rick to a passage in his own. Somewhere he was sent 3 yrs ago, but a path that he can no longer deny he must tread.
Rick has always seemed comfortable in the shadows of his father's lead of the family. Being the oldest, he was never in a rush to "be in charge". It's been odd to be an "outsider" to his childhood, only to imagine the "big brother" that he was then (and is now) - quiet, unassuming, gentle, unless the forbidden line is crossed. Dick always led singing, led the family in prayer at our various gatherings, guardian of the "code" that must be followed. That baton was passed to Rick 3 yrs ago at our first family Christmas together after Dick passed away. Rick hesitated, allowing for one of his brother's to take the lead, perhaps. But they made it clear they knew Rick was owner of that baton by their gesture - he was expected to now lead the family in prayer before our meal together.
That baton has been there ever since, but Rick has yet to take ownership of it. He has held it graciously, always making sure the others knew he would share it if they desired. But every time, they make it clear who is now the leader of the family - they look to Rick every time.
A new passage for him, undeniable now, that he must take the lead, be the leader - a role he assumes with great humility and much respect for his predecessor. And so this day's celebration of a passage of "Aint Seel" to be with her savior, we acknowledge another of life's passages for Rick.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Timing is Everything
Ok, I decided to start my own blogspot Thursday, and Saturday my world went topsy-turvy!! Coinsidence - I think not!! I guess God knew I was going the need a way to start sharing my world with the outside.
Case in point - Sean is currently running in a circle around the loveseat I am sitting on, chasing the dog, laughing and singing a made up song "Ha, ha, I have a hammer!" gleefully as he wields the hammer over his head, trotting after the dog. Then Rick enters from the bedroom, clears his throat, and simply says "alright, it's time to go to bed" (it's 9:30pm) Please note this is my 13 (soon to be 14 year old) ADHD son. Life is strange to say the least.
But let's back up alittle. Friday, I took the day off so that I could go to Auburn to help Rick's sister with the last cleaning after moving out of her house before she closed on the sale that afternoon. Fairly uneventful day, nice to be with his sister, and she treated me to a late lunch before I headed back to Montgomery.
Saturday, Cait was scheduled to take the ACT in the morning, so Rick thought he'd take her then use that time to clean out his cubicle at Regions since Wednesday is his last day. He called about 10am to tell me his Great Aunt Lucille had been taken to the hospital after a bad fall - it did not look good. He called back about 10:40 to say she had passed away. Weird thing is, I am having trouble feeling sadness - Lucille was a great Christian lady, good wife to Ed and wonderful mother to Shirley. She had lived a very good life of almost 90 years. She has finally achieved what she lived her life for - to be home with her Savior. I can not find sorrow in that. When I asked the kids today if they wanted to be at the funeral, Sean expressed the same dilemma.
We spent the afternoon doing housework (ok, Rick and I did housework). Cait made plans to attend a school play with a friend (another story) so Rick, Sean and I visited Shirley that evening. All was fairly good until about 5 minutes from home, we start getting this "He hit me, she hit me" argument erupting from the back seat. I guess that was more than either of us could take and before it could be settled, Rick ended up pulling the car over. Childish immature behavior you'd expect from preshoolers, but these are my teenagers. It goes on (what seems to be) constantly! Punishments, spankings, loss of privileges, every parenting consequences I've ever heard of have been tried, evidently to absolutely no avail. It's exacerbating and exhausting.
At this point, I'm not even really sure the exact steps that evolved into the final outcome (and they would take too much time, anyway) Let's just say that this event put Cait and I on a toe-to-toe path that ended up with her door being taken of the hinges and removed (slamming the door consequence), loss of internet, phone, and temporary loss of her laptop (she needs it for school, so hard to make that permanent).
Today, Rick and Sean were gone for 1st service before Cait and I needed to be up for bible class. She was her typical "I'm too tired" self getting up, and dragging getting to church, but no animosity, just fatigue. She came to the sound booth to "work" her shift as always, playing with the kids as soon as church was out. When called, she came and home we went. Satan had released his hold on my child and there she was, as though all was well with the world, no evidence of the last 24 hrs events.
Some might find this to be a good thing, I find it disconcerting - along with this, there also seems to be no remorse, no understanding of bad choices that were made. She remember the consequences - her door was re-hung about an hour after we got home. Another punishment was she had to clean my car, she did begrudgingly (as any teenager would) but not in angry resentment. She has interacted with us today as her normal self - this is SO bizarre. She knows what happened, but behaves in a way that seems disconnected to it all. .I remember being angry with my parents, giving them the silent treatment - even when I knew I was wrong, supposedly punishing them for punishing me. Not Cait - she is currently taking her shower, humming a tune, enjoying the end of her day as she does most every day. (it's now 10:30pm)
This roller coaster life that I lead absolutely wears me out sometimes. This blog post is more of a "brain-dump" but it is a start. I just need to share my life, put things in writing, to see for myself where the journey has gone. So much more to go.
Case in point - Sean is currently running in a circle around the loveseat I am sitting on, chasing the dog, laughing and singing a made up song "Ha, ha, I have a hammer!" gleefully as he wields the hammer over his head, trotting after the dog. Then Rick enters from the bedroom, clears his throat, and simply says "alright, it's time to go to bed" (it's 9:30pm) Please note this is my 13 (soon to be 14 year old) ADHD son. Life is strange to say the least.
But let's back up alittle. Friday, I took the day off so that I could go to Auburn to help Rick's sister with the last cleaning after moving out of her house before she closed on the sale that afternoon. Fairly uneventful day, nice to be with his sister, and she treated me to a late lunch before I headed back to Montgomery.
Saturday, Cait was scheduled to take the ACT in the morning, so Rick thought he'd take her then use that time to clean out his cubicle at Regions since Wednesday is his last day. He called about 10am to tell me his Great Aunt Lucille had been taken to the hospital after a bad fall - it did not look good. He called back about 10:40 to say she had passed away. Weird thing is, I am having trouble feeling sadness - Lucille was a great Christian lady, good wife to Ed and wonderful mother to Shirley. She had lived a very good life of almost 90 years. She has finally achieved what she lived her life for - to be home with her Savior. I can not find sorrow in that. When I asked the kids today if they wanted to be at the funeral, Sean expressed the same dilemma.
We spent the afternoon doing housework (ok, Rick and I did housework). Cait made plans to attend a school play with a friend (another story) so Rick, Sean and I visited Shirley that evening. All was fairly good until about 5 minutes from home, we start getting this "He hit me, she hit me" argument erupting from the back seat. I guess that was more than either of us could take and before it could be settled, Rick ended up pulling the car over. Childish immature behavior you'd expect from preshoolers, but these are my teenagers. It goes on (what seems to be) constantly! Punishments, spankings, loss of privileges, every parenting consequences I've ever heard of have been tried, evidently to absolutely no avail. It's exacerbating and exhausting.
At this point, I'm not even really sure the exact steps that evolved into the final outcome (and they would take too much time, anyway) Let's just say that this event put Cait and I on a toe-to-toe path that ended up with her door being taken of the hinges and removed (slamming the door consequence), loss of internet, phone, and temporary loss of her laptop (she needs it for school, so hard to make that permanent).
Today, Rick and Sean were gone for 1st service before Cait and I needed to be up for bible class. She was her typical "I'm too tired" self getting up, and dragging getting to church, but no animosity, just fatigue. She came to the sound booth to "work" her shift as always, playing with the kids as soon as church was out. When called, she came and home we went. Satan had released his hold on my child and there she was, as though all was well with the world, no evidence of the last 24 hrs events.
Some might find this to be a good thing, I find it disconcerting - along with this, there also seems to be no remorse, no understanding of bad choices that were made. She remember the consequences - her door was re-hung about an hour after we got home. Another punishment was she had to clean my car, she did begrudgingly (as any teenager would) but not in angry resentment. She has interacted with us today as her normal self - this is SO bizarre. She knows what happened, but behaves in a way that seems disconnected to it all. .I remember being angry with my parents, giving them the silent treatment - even when I knew I was wrong, supposedly punishing them for punishing me. Not Cait - she is currently taking her shower, humming a tune, enjoying the end of her day as she does most every day. (it's now 10:30pm)
This roller coaster life that I lead absolutely wears me out sometimes. This blog post is more of a "brain-dump" but it is a start. I just need to share my life, put things in writing, to see for myself where the journey has gone. So much more to go.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Getting Started
Well, this is a first for me. I have been keeping up with several folks by way of blogs and decided maybe it was time to start my own. There are so many things to say, but the title of this blogspot probably tells most of my story - there are some days when I truly wonder if I am staying a step ahead of the game or not.
It's time to leave work and head to my son's last Fall Baseball game for the season. Of course, this would be the coldest day YET!!!
More to come!
It's time to leave work and head to my son's last Fall Baseball game for the season. Of course, this would be the coldest day YET!!!
More to come!
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