I guess I missed all the conflict over Santa vs. Christ as a child. Now, let me preface this by saying I was raised Catholic, but not in the strictest sense (my mother converted from Episcopal).
I guess Santa was just fluff for us. We always had a nativity scene (or two) on display at the house, we always attend mid-night mass Christmas eve (I still love that celebration - it always touches me deep)
I guess for me, they have always managed to stay seperate. We never got much into "going to see Santa", we didn't decorate much with figures of Santa, but we did do the stockings and watch the classic cartoon movies, as well as "Miracle on 34th St", etc. We just downplayed in all, I guess.
We have done the same in our home now. Santa is a side issue, "window dressing". Empasizing the things about the season that matter, and simply not acknowledging the secular aspects.
Now that my kids are older, I've come to accept that I can not control what society does, or does not do. My only prayer is for the strength and discernment from God to equip my children with the foundation of strong Christian values in hopes that this will sustain them as they are exposed to the non-Christian world.
I do not know if we have done a complete job of this, but we keep trying. Every so often, we see glimmers of their faith shining thru in moments of secular exposure. It gives us strength to keep working at teaching them, strengthening their foundation, and praying for God's hand to guide us.
I just don't see the conflict.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Friday, November 23, 2007
A Season of Thanks
It's the day after Thanksgiving and my list of things for which I am thankful seems endless. I tend to look over the last year to review all the changes, all the things that have remained or gotten better. Wow! It's been a great year.
In February 2007, Rick and I decided to "take the plunge" and look for a much needed larger house. We (or should I say I) had crunched the numbers and we felt we could afford this change. We met with our Realtor at 1pm and by 5pm WE WERE SIGNING A CONTRACT on a house in the process of being built!! Wow! A new house - and all the details had already been decided (we did select appliances - all NEW). We closed March 30th.
Since the kids are AD/HD, the idea of disrupting their world was discomforting to say the least (probably mostly to me). I felt the best thing was to keep life as normal as possible, until the last moment. The night before closing, I boxed up the kitchen - they were both disoriented the next morning getting ready for school. Ok, so we'd factored in 2-3 months to "sort thru" as we moved from the old and into the new (everything would be "put in place" as we moved it in.)
Well, that was the plan. We discovered that Rick's brother needed to move out of his mom's house (no surprise there) and they asked if they could "rent-to-own" our place. Well, we'd planned on selling, the equity would pay off some debts, but if the mortgage, etc was covered, we thought helping them out would be good as long as they understood the process of getting out would be slow. Things changed, and they needed in earlier than we'd planned - May 1st, only giving us 30 days - not near enough time to "clear out smoothly". Things were just piled into the garage ot the new house
Then we discovered the kids GPAs had dropped so much in school, they had lost their spot to return to Magnet (despite trying to get 504 plans in place). We decided to launch a legal appeal, which took MOST of our spare time during the summer (so much for "unpacking"). The possibility of needing to place BOTH the kids in private schools was very disconcerting given our financial situation.
This was the same time we realized the financial strain of not selling the old house. Their purchase in May 2008 could not come soon enough. Then they realized they needed to take care of other things and would not be able to buy the house as planned. I was starting to have regrets, but we realized their need was greater, and relieving their mother of their dwelling responsibility was greater than our need for a little more financial comfort (we refigured, and cut a few more things).
But all was not bad - we won BOTH appeals (with LOTS of legal input from friends, etc). The kids were going back to Magnet schools.
All this while the strain of Rick's job grew almost daily. Now with the new house and financial issues, simply walking out was not an option. God granted Rick the reward for his patience and loyalty - Rick's last day with Regions was Oct 31, 2007. He has started a new job and absolutely loves it - the peace from loss of stress is an amazing thing.
Now, we have enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner in our new home with Rick's mother and 2 grandmothers. The kids are anxiously awaiting the time to start decorating for Christmas. I finally hung some pictures Monday (only 7 1/2 months later). I have not been able to do the decorating I would have liked to due to financial constrains, but we are enjoying the space. The "unclutter" has been great for their peace of mind - their 1st report cards were 3.0 (Cait) and 3.5 (Sean) - MUCH improved from last year. So I guess the garage unpacking can just take it's time if this is the benefit!!!
A new house, better GPA's, a new job, less stress!!! God has shown his presence in our lives over and over again in the last year. What more could a girl want!!!
In February 2007, Rick and I decided to "take the plunge" and look for a much needed larger house. We (or should I say I) had crunched the numbers and we felt we could afford this change. We met with our Realtor at 1pm and by 5pm WE WERE SIGNING A CONTRACT on a house in the process of being built!! Wow! A new house - and all the details had already been decided (we did select appliances - all NEW). We closed March 30th.
Since the kids are AD/HD, the idea of disrupting their world was discomforting to say the least (probably mostly to me). I felt the best thing was to keep life as normal as possible, until the last moment. The night before closing, I boxed up the kitchen - they were both disoriented the next morning getting ready for school. Ok, so we'd factored in 2-3 months to "sort thru" as we moved from the old and into the new (everything would be "put in place" as we moved it in.)
Well, that was the plan. We discovered that Rick's brother needed to move out of his mom's house (no surprise there) and they asked if they could "rent-to-own" our place. Well, we'd planned on selling, the equity would pay off some debts, but if the mortgage, etc was covered, we thought helping them out would be good as long as they understood the process of getting out would be slow. Things changed, and they needed in earlier than we'd planned - May 1st, only giving us 30 days - not near enough time to "clear out smoothly". Things were just piled into the garage ot the new house
Then we discovered the kids GPAs had dropped so much in school, they had lost their spot to return to Magnet (despite trying to get 504 plans in place). We decided to launch a legal appeal, which took MOST of our spare time during the summer (so much for "unpacking"). The possibility of needing to place BOTH the kids in private schools was very disconcerting given our financial situation.
This was the same time we realized the financial strain of not selling the old house. Their purchase in May 2008 could not come soon enough. Then they realized they needed to take care of other things and would not be able to buy the house as planned. I was starting to have regrets, but we realized their need was greater, and relieving their mother of their dwelling responsibility was greater than our need for a little more financial comfort (we refigured, and cut a few more things).
But all was not bad - we won BOTH appeals (with LOTS of legal input from friends, etc). The kids were going back to Magnet schools.
All this while the strain of Rick's job grew almost daily. Now with the new house and financial issues, simply walking out was not an option. God granted Rick the reward for his patience and loyalty - Rick's last day with Regions was Oct 31, 2007. He has started a new job and absolutely loves it - the peace from loss of stress is an amazing thing.
Now, we have enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner in our new home with Rick's mother and 2 grandmothers. The kids are anxiously awaiting the time to start decorating for Christmas. I finally hung some pictures Monday (only 7 1/2 months later). I have not been able to do the decorating I would have liked to due to financial constrains, but we are enjoying the space. The "unclutter" has been great for their peace of mind - their 1st report cards were 3.0 (Cait) and 3.5 (Sean) - MUCH improved from last year. So I guess the garage unpacking can just take it's time if this is the benefit!!!
A new house, better GPA's, a new job, less stress!!! God has shown his presence in our lives over and over again in the last year. What more could a girl want!!!
Monday, November 12, 2007
God spoke
Have you ever had a moment when you were absolutely certain that God was putting words in your mouth? A time when you had no doubt that God was using your mouth to speak to another person? Well, let's just say "I got used!!"
Last night there was a situation that needed to be addressed with Cait as she and I returned from Auburn. My nature is to "take control" and "because I said so" type arguments. Well that is not what happened at all. I felt the need to confront Cait about how a friendship was playing out. I felt that they were being "secretive" over things that were miniscule. My nature would have taken the interaction to a level that just simply drove a wedge between she and I. But as I opened my mouth, those were not the words that came out. There was no forethought about what was being said - words just kept spilling out. I was almost in shock at the whole thing, but didn't let on - the words kept on coming.
The more I spoke in those uncharacteristics words, the more Cait opened up to me. Guess what the BIG SECRET was??? Her friend was not a Christian and my sweet child thought that would make me angry. She cared for this other child, understood she had "issues" and felt compelled to befriend her to let her know she was special. Somehow in our lives together, my sweet child thought I would reject the friendship if I knew the other child felt completely uncomfortable with us at church, that she was not a Christian. Where did she EVER get that impression?? I have no idea.
God gently spoke to Cait about the fact that Christians can't very well spread the Word if we only befriend Christians. God comforted her by saying her compassion for this child is exactly what being a Christian is all about. God also reminded her that she needs to keep herself in His Word so that when situations with this child arise where someone needs to behave like a Christian, she will be strong and be able to show her faith in Him by her actions.
Where did all that come from?? As I relayed the story to Rick, I repeatedly said "Those aren't my words, that was ALL God."
Let's just say, I was very humbled by the experience and greatful that God siezed the chance to prevent me from doing something stupid!
Last night there was a situation that needed to be addressed with Cait as she and I returned from Auburn. My nature is to "take control" and "because I said so" type arguments. Well that is not what happened at all. I felt the need to confront Cait about how a friendship was playing out. I felt that they were being "secretive" over things that were miniscule. My nature would have taken the interaction to a level that just simply drove a wedge between she and I. But as I opened my mouth, those were not the words that came out. There was no forethought about what was being said - words just kept spilling out. I was almost in shock at the whole thing, but didn't let on - the words kept on coming.
The more I spoke in those uncharacteristics words, the more Cait opened up to me. Guess what the BIG SECRET was??? Her friend was not a Christian and my sweet child thought that would make me angry. She cared for this other child, understood she had "issues" and felt compelled to befriend her to let her know she was special. Somehow in our lives together, my sweet child thought I would reject the friendship if I knew the other child felt completely uncomfortable with us at church, that she was not a Christian. Where did she EVER get that impression?? I have no idea.
God gently spoke to Cait about the fact that Christians can't very well spread the Word if we only befriend Christians. God comforted her by saying her compassion for this child is exactly what being a Christian is all about. God also reminded her that she needs to keep herself in His Word so that when situations with this child arise where someone needs to behave like a Christian, she will be strong and be able to show her faith in Him by her actions.
Where did all that come from?? As I relayed the story to Rick, I repeatedly said "Those aren't my words, that was ALL God."
Let's just say, I was very humbled by the experience and greatful that God siezed the chance to prevent me from doing something stupid!
Thursday, November 8, 2007
New job....
Rick started his new job Monday with some nerves along with the anticipation of moving away from the past. I usally am not up until after they leave, but awoke to him standing at the bathroom mirror, working on his tie, starting over again. Rick....in a tie!!!!
For the last 10 yrs, Rick has worn golf shirts, khaki or jeans. But there he stood in a freshly ironed shirt (he ironed, not me!) working on getting his tie "just right". Funny thing is, by 10 am, the CFO told him to ditch the tie!!!! They are more relaxed there but Rick is trying to start off taking his wardrobe up a notch. And he's having fun, too!!!
So far, he's gone out to eat every day and someone else has picked up the tab-----Nice! He has a big meeting today, the Trustees, etc are in town - lunch at the Capital City Club! All this and he was told to order new office furniture, and a new laptop (the old desktop died Tuesday!!) What a great position for a "techie"!!!!
He's having fun and looking forward to going to work now (what a GREAT place, mentally, to be!)
As for the kids, we decided to have Cait go thru all the psychological testing for her ADHD. We had Sean do the full battery of testing in 2005, but Cait had only been diagnosed by parent/teacher surveys, etc. She needed to be off meds, so she had 3 appointments yesterday to get them all done in one day. We shall see.
For the last 10 yrs, Rick has worn golf shirts, khaki or jeans. But there he stood in a freshly ironed shirt (he ironed, not me!) working on getting his tie "just right". Funny thing is, by 10 am, the CFO told him to ditch the tie!!!! They are more relaxed there but Rick is trying to start off taking his wardrobe up a notch. And he's having fun, too!!!
So far, he's gone out to eat every day and someone else has picked up the tab-----Nice! He has a big meeting today, the Trustees, etc are in town - lunch at the Capital City Club! All this and he was told to order new office furniture, and a new laptop (the old desktop died Tuesday!!) What a great position for a "techie"!!!!
He's having fun and looking forward to going to work now (what a GREAT place, mentally, to be!)
As for the kids, we decided to have Cait go thru all the psychological testing for her ADHD. We had Sean do the full battery of testing in 2005, but Cait had only been diagnosed by parent/teacher surveys, etc. She needed to be off meds, so she had 3 appointments yesterday to get them all done in one day. We shall see.
Monday, November 5, 2007
What a weekend!
Our weekend sorta started Wednesday at 4:30pm when Rick became officially unemployed (at least until 8am this morning). I struggled with not giving him a "honey do" list, but he ended up with a list anyway since he really wanted to have his cousin over while she was still in town (after the funeral). He had certain things he wanted done before she came and that would be either of the three evenings or Sunday lunch. We were "on stand by" most of the weekend.
It turned out to be a simple Sunday evening gathering - chili for supper and a half game of "hand and foot" (card game). We had a sort of "epiphany" once we said our good-byes. "We should do this more often, it's fun and the house looks GREAT!"
Odd thing was, both the kids were good most of the weekend. Sean was preoccupied with a computer game he "vowed" he would complete and disruptions to that task created animosity, but the job got done (sort of). Cait on the otherhand was a phenominal help - at every turn coming as I called her and doing whatever task I lay before her. I have my child back (for now).
Robyn, if you read this, she is VERY excited about having a session with you next summer. We even talked about one aunt doing her hair (she cuts our hair on occasions), another for make-up (she sells Mary Kay) and another for wardrobe (she has bought Cait clothes since day 1). Odd to me that this child, who HATES her picture taken is actually looking forward to this with anticipation!!!!!
I am learning to "go with the flow" these days and savor the good times!
It turned out to be a simple Sunday evening gathering - chili for supper and a half game of "hand and foot" (card game). We had a sort of "epiphany" once we said our good-byes. "We should do this more often, it's fun and the house looks GREAT!"
Odd thing was, both the kids were good most of the weekend. Sean was preoccupied with a computer game he "vowed" he would complete and disruptions to that task created animosity, but the job got done (sort of). Cait on the otherhand was a phenominal help - at every turn coming as I called her and doing whatever task I lay before her. I have my child back (for now).
Robyn, if you read this, she is VERY excited about having a session with you next summer. We even talked about one aunt doing her hair (she cuts our hair on occasions), another for make-up (she sells Mary Kay) and another for wardrobe (she has bought Cait clothes since day 1). Odd to me that this child, who HATES her picture taken is actually looking forward to this with anticipation!!!!!
I am learning to "go with the flow" these days and savor the good times!
Friday, November 2, 2007
Ahhh, Another weekend!
Well, I am glad to see this weekend get here. It's been an odd week for us and I'm ready to get back to the "somewhat" normal existance.
We had another issue with Cait (this one centering around "You just don't understand me") Glad to be informed by my teenage daughter that I don't know what it's like to be a teenage girl!! In discussing it with Rick, I used this analogy (tell me what you think):
It's like trying to grab a bull by the horns and force it to do what YOU want it to do! It can't happen without someone (probably you) getting hurt (i.e. trampled). Cowboys somehow have managed for years to get the cattle across plains, into a corral, and into single pens. They have let the animal run "free" but gently guided it in the direction of the cowboy's will. It's a win-win - freedom to run, control over the direction!! This is what a parent of a teen face this same delimma. Can it be solved the same way?
How can we let her think she is running free, all the while guiding her in the direction of our will?
We presented our plan to her last night, she was agreeable to all. We shall see.
We had another issue with Cait (this one centering around "You just don't understand me") Glad to be informed by my teenage daughter that I don't know what it's like to be a teenage girl!! In discussing it with Rick, I used this analogy (tell me what you think):
It's like trying to grab a bull by the horns and force it to do what YOU want it to do! It can't happen without someone (probably you) getting hurt (i.e. trampled). Cowboys somehow have managed for years to get the cattle across plains, into a corral, and into single pens. They have let the animal run "free" but gently guided it in the direction of the cowboy's will. It's a win-win - freedom to run, control over the direction!! This is what a parent of a teen face this same delimma. Can it be solved the same way?
How can we let her think she is running free, all the while guiding her in the direction of our will?
We presented our plan to her last night, she was agreeable to all. We shall see.
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